


Shimmer

by MHB_swf9924



Category: Rammstein
Genre: F/M, Inspired by Music, One Night Stands, Original Character(s), Smut, Summer Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-06 05:24:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18381833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MHB_swf9924/pseuds/MHB_swf9924
Summary: A lighthearted story about a summer night in an unfamiliar town with a stranger.





	1. A killer or a savior

**Author's Note:**

> Hey folks! So, I had some time off the last days and I decided to write a short three-part story about Till having a little adventure while touring. Part two (the smutty one) will be uploaded next Sunday (hopefully) and the last part a week later. I hope you enjoy this piece. When you find some mistakes, I will correct them, 'cause I'm not an English pro...
> 
> Sidenote: A character is going to say something homophobic in the first part. I'm an absolute supporter of the LGBTQAI+ community and being homo-, bi-, transphobe and so on is not my personal way of thinking. I just used this slur letting act a bad person... well, bad. 
> 
> The song that inspired me to write this story: Shimmer by Fuel

It was back in the nineties on a warm summer night. We were practicing for a show in Dresden in August 1998 and I injured myself while testing the fire effects. My right hand was slightly burned, but I had to bandage it for some days. I felt like a dump fool hurting myself in front of all the other members of the band and some stage builders. Richard rolled his eyes saying something like he had seen this coming in the long run. He was lucky I injured my hand already and didn't punch him. But after that event, I just wanted to get off my mind. Going far away from the others and being by myself.

Well, Dresden was not the best place for getting distracted. Too many people running around in the heat of the summer, eating ice cream and drinking the night away. All the fun and laughter of a big city. This was not meant for me.  
So I borrowed the car of our tour manager, a black BMW in which I felt a little stupid, but it matched my appearance. A big black car for a big guy like me in his black shirt and matching jeans. I looked like a mafia boss, so I decided to hide behind my sunglasses, although the sun slowly started going down on the edge of the city. Everyone stared at me and the car, or my mind made this up. But I was happy when I crossed the border of Dresden.

The landscape was beautiful in the red sunlight of the late daytime hour. After I put down my sunglasses, my injured hand fell a little harder on the gear stick than I thought it would. A sweet sting went through my body. But the pain reminded me of my own stupid mistake and I pushed the gear stick up, fully ignoring the speed limit. I didn't mind, the street was empty anyway. Only some curves forced me to slow down and I felt a sting in my hand every time I changed gear.  
After a while, it got really dark outside and I decided to stay somewhere for the night. But I had no clue where I was. But then a sign passed by and the name of the next town sounded familiar, so I thought it was a good thing to stay there at a hotel or something like that.

A few miles later I entered the town and was greeted by dark empty streets. That was kind of weird for a Friday night. The center of the town was also abandoned. No people, no laughter, no lost soul in search of a distraction besides myself. And there was also no sign of a hotel.  
I sighed and parked the car on a side street near the town square. Slowly I got out of the car and let my eyes wander over the area. A messy looking phone booth stood at the other end of the square and I decided it was the best calling the others where I was and foremost that I was fine. The coins clicked in the device and I typed in Richards hotel room number I wrote on a little note before I left the hotel. I heard a dial tone at the other end of the line. Some seconds went by until I heard my sleepy band mate picking up the phone.

“Was ist los?”, he asked with a crack in his voice. I told him in short sentences where I was and that I would be back the next day. He barely said something, but he wasn't mad at me, because he knew that I need to be by myself from time to time.

We said our goodbyes and I had to promise him not getting into any trouble, then I hung up and left the booth. In the fresh air, I realized how bad it had smelled in there. Like anyone was using this thing as their private toilet. People can be so disgusting. But my bigger problem was, that I had to spend the night in the car of my tour manager when I wasn't able to find a place to stay. And it was weird that this town was so empty. No one crossed my path while I walked around to find a hotel. In the end, it was a little pub I found with some older guys sitting in front of, drinking. I took a deep breath and walked nearer. The gaze of a very old fat man fell on me and didn't leave me until I pushed the door to the pub open and entered the smoky room behind. It was very loud inside and at this point, I knew where all the residents of this town went. Kind of. The radio played the new song by Jennifer Paige, which was played on every station and really started to annoy me. But I was not the only person who was pissed off by this song.

“Ralf, mach den Scheiß aus!”, shouted a big bald guy from the other end of the room. The bartender, who's named Ralf, just shrugged his shoulder and lit up a cigarette.

“Wenn die Frau es so will”, the bartender responded and pointed at a woman, who seemed to be his wife. She looked used and a hard life left its mark on her face. Yellow crooked teeth showed while she laughed at Ralfs words. I decided to ignore this scene and took a stool at the corner of the bar. No one really seemed to notice me. No one except the young bald man who shouted at Ralf. His gaze was dark and a cold shower went down my spine. But my stone hard face would never reveal a glimpse of my insecurity.  
We stared at each other for what felt like a lifetime, but then a vicious smile appeared on his face, and he leaned down to a friend next of him. He whispered something to the slightly older looking guy and they both laughed. I knew that they made fun of me. My mind couldn't make this up. And it had something to do with my bandaged hand because the young man made a very vulgar gesture with his right hand. I felt the heat of anger under my skin, but this was not the right place to cause any trouble. I knew how it worked with these close people in small towns like this. And when they had beaten the shit out of me, Richard would take his turn in doing the same thing, because I had jeopardized our show. 

Finally, the bartender Ralf turned around and looked a little bewildered at me and my hand. He shook his head and got himself together. I tried to smile but it just looked odd on my hard face. Sometimes I thought I looked like a prisoner who just got out of jail. “Was darf's sein?”, asked the bartender over the loud music. He had just changed it to a CD by Die Böhsen Onkelz and I repressed a groan. I swallowed hard before I ordered a beer. Ralf nodded and turned around to get me a bottle he opened before he placed it in front of me. 

“Nichts für ungut. Aber bezahlen musst du hier gleich”, he said and his eyes fixed mine. Maybe he had some strange sentiments when a stranger appeared on his doorstep. But he couldn't stand my staring eyes. I showed no emotion while I grabbed my wallet and took out a five Mark coin. Carefully I pushed it over to the disturbed looking Ralf. He picked up the coin and I told him that he can take the change. I barely noticed a twitch of his lips. Maybe he tried to smile, but then he got away to throw the money in the cash box he used as a register. 

I smiled at myself over this incident and took a sip from my beer. Small town people can be so paranoid, I thought before my attention got back to my notebook I carried around everywhere. For days, I tried to write some new poetry or song lyrics. But my mind was blank. Maybe this was the cause why I got distracted at the pyro effect test earlier. I experienced a very bad writing blockade at this time. No sentence I wrote on the blank pages of the notebook made any sense. It was very frustrating. And the loud shitty music in this bar prevented me from having any sane thought. From time to time I looked up from my words and let my view wander over the unfamiliar faces around me.  
Everybody has a story. And everybody inside this smoky room looked broken enough for a helpful inspiration. My shyness was the problem at this point. I never just could stay up, walk to one of the guys and talk. No, this wasn't the way I handled things. I just stayed at my place and watched the people around me getting very drunk. After the Onkelz CD finished, the bartender arched his back, so he could reach down under the bar where he stored his music. The young man from earlier suddenly appeared at Ralfs side and knocked on the wooden surface of the bar. Ralf was startled by this and in a blink of an eye, he stood straight. 

“Spiel mal Macht und Ehre!”, said the young man with such a deep loud voice that everyone was still for a moment. Even the bartender's face showed some trouble. The music request from his young customer was indeed utter inappropriate. 

“Du weißt, dass ich dann nur Probleme bekomme”, stuttered the bartender with fear in the undertone of his voice. The young man laughed hard at Ralfs reserved reaction. But no one joined his outbreak of joy. 

“Ach du liebevoller Idiot”, the young man remarked and gave a light clap with his big hand on the bartender's shoulder. Then he noticed that I observed the whole scene. With a devilish grin, he walked over to my side and now I was the one who received a hurtful clap on ones back. But I didn't even blink. 

“Was sagst du dazu, Neuer?”, the young man hissed in my ear with his beer breath. The smell was disgusting, and he must have a lot of alcohol in his system at this point of the night. Before I could even bother myself with a response, the music started to play again. Now it was a compilation of chart songs from the year earlier.  
The young man looked up and rolled his eyes and shouted something to the bartender. But then his eyes wandered back to me and his diabolic smirk reappeared on his visage. My guts twisted. This guy meant trouble. 

“Wer bist du eigentlich?” There was no real curiosity in the way he spits out his question. While he waited for my answer I inspected his appearance. He was tall, maybe some inches taller than me, and he was a Neo-Nazi without a doubt. Under his plain white shirt, I noticed some serious muscles. Bloodred suspenders, which hold up his bleached blue jeans, stretched above them, and I was an Idiot when I started a fight with this guy.  
There was an uncomfortable tension in the air between us, but I would never have the chance to tell this asshole my name because he grabbed my notebook from the bar and started reading. With ugly laughter, he turned around to his friends and waved with my book. 

“Die Schwuchtel schreibt Gedichte!”, shouted the Nazi and everyone in the bar started to laugh. The skin tone of my face changed from pale white to crimson red. Not because of the embarrassment, but of the way he made fun of me. 

“Sei kein Arschloch Marko.” Suddenly a young girl appeared by my side. I was so surprised, that the anger vanished from my face. The Nazi, Marko, bent down to the girl like he was talking to a child. 

“Ach komm schon. Alles nur Spaß.” He tried to calm her down like she was the one who got embarrassed in front of a bunch of hicks. But instead of saying anything, she punched him on his arm in response. The Marko guy chuckled. Unimpressed he continues reading in my notebook and in my mind I repeated Richards words over and over: “Pass auf dich auf!” 

I must confess that from time to time it is really hard for me to channel my anger. But now I was just driven by hate. The Nazi started to recite one of my latest poems I wrote a few weeks ago. It was a darker one about a weird sexual experience I made. I never felt exposed like this before. And it didn't help that the young woman tried to stop him. My mind was filled with nothing but rage. Then everything happened really fast. While the band Bell Book and Candle was played in the background, I snapped. My fist smashed into the face of the Nazi Marko, while he just stood there and read my poems out loud. What a surreal situation. 

The hit was very hard and this piece of shit stumbled a few steps forward. I took my chance and got my notebook back from his filthy hands, while I ignored the pain under my bandage. But before he had the chance to attack me, I turned him around and this time my fist met his stomach. He crawled on the floor and started to vomit all over the place. It was a satisfying view. 

“Oh, scheiße”, gasped the young woman who still stood by my side. 

“Raus hier!” Her voice wasn't full of fear, but of concern. Then she took my hand and dragged me out of the bar. We ran as fast as we could. But we made it just some streets. Adrenaline pumped throw my veins and my heart raced so fast, I was afraid it could explode. 

“Marko wird dich umbringen, wenn er dich erwischt”, said the girl between breaths. This was the first time I really looked at her. She was definitely younger than me. Ten years maybe. And she was the prettiest thing I ever saw under a shady street lamp. Her short brown hair hung into her face, and she wore a button up shirt and a pair of jeans, all colored in black. She looked like someone who didn't fit in a town like this. Then her eyes fell on mine and my racing heart stopped immediately. I could not say which color it was in the lightning of the lamp, but her black eye mascara gave them a breathtaking charisma. 

“Wer bist du eigentlich?” 

“Till”, was my simple response. But for the girl, it was good enough. She nodded and then started to look around. 

“Komm mit”, she ordered and I just followed her. It felt oddly safe to be by her side, although I was a very strong guy. There was something in the way she looked at me, that made me feel trapped. We walked in silence through the empty streets and now I was happy there was no one out here, except us. It felt like something waited in the darkness to get us. But it wasn't her who I had to protect. It was my sanity. Houses with dark windows passed by and a cat watched us from the roof of a car. The girl looked up and smiled at the cat, which meowed before it disappeared under another car. 

“Warum hast du mich gerettet?” My voice sounded strange in the quietness of the night. The only sound was made by our footsteps. The girl looked at me but it took her some moments for an answer. 

“Keine Ahnung. Es war einfach das Richtige in dem Moment”, she mumbled. Then all of a sudden she stood still and looked around. I did the same but there was no one around us. We were the only two souls in this goddamned town, I thought and sighed. 

“Du kommst nicht von hier?” She examined me with her dark eyes and I felt nervous under her gaze. I gathered all my courage together and told her that I came from Berlin for a job in Dresden. I only let out a few simple facts about myself, but I revealed to her, that I was a musician and an author. So it was not too embarrassing to talk to her about my poems. I hadn't talked this much about my work in months. It felt like a release. And she was interested in everything I had to say. It was a weird feeling that some complete stranger would be so curious. She had no idea who I was and this was a refreshing feeling. While talking, we wandered around the town and I felt a little lost, as she finally stopped at the edge of a garden area. Die Lustige Laube was written on a white painted wooden sign and I snorted at this silly pun. The girl chuckled at my reaction. 

“Hier können wir uns verstecken.” I squeezed my eyes together in concern. Without any further explanation, she took my hand in hers, and we entered the area through an old rusty gate with a broken lock.


	2. Fields of butterflies, reality escapes her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part II
> 
> It's about music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to upload it twice, 'cause... maybe don't drink and write... you gonna crash.

We walked in silence until we got to the end of the small path behind the gate. I looked around but couldn't see anything except bushes which separated the gardens from each other. And some old rusty gates, shimmering in the moonlight. They had all very functional looking locks. And this was the big problem we had now.

“Scheiße”, cursed the girl a little too loud for this quiet place. I was afraid someone could hear us and call the police. I felt like a teenager. Standing in front of a strangers garden, with a girl I just met just moments away from trespassing someone's property by breaking in.

“Ich bin so ein Idiot”, the girl murmured and started crawling through the bushes. There was a fence behind the scrub with a hole inside of it. The girl was significantly shorter than I and had no problem getting through the gap. I felt massive against her petite stature. But I made it through the cut in the fence. Of course not without ripping a little scratch in my arm. A thin line of blood appeared on my triceps which ran down to my elbow. I didn't notice it until the girl stood by my side and touched my arm. It was weird that she had no timidity at all. Well at least, she brought a complete stranger to a garden cabin in the middle of nowhere. Maybe she was brave, naïve, or I had to be the one who should be afraid.

“Ich hab Pflaster in der Hütte, aber keine Ahnung wie wir da ran kommen.” Maybe I looked a little to troubled, but finally, she told me that her grandparents rented this garden and it was totally fine to be here. There was still a bad feeling in my guts. Now I think I was the naïve one in this situation, that I trusted a stranger. Well, she rescued me from this Nazi and his angry mob. They're probably already started searching for us. So it was better staying with her than being alone. I was an alien in this surrounding. But I pushed these thoughts aside and followed the girl to the green painted wooden door of the cabin.

It was a very plain piece of wood with a simple bolt lock. The surrounding wood seemed to be really rotten. It was no big trick to get in, so I searched for a shovel or something like that to hit the lock with it. After a few seconds, I indeed found a shovel and grabbed it. The girl followed me with her eyes, while she lit herself a cigarette. I felt examined and hoped my plan would work. And it did. It took me two hits to break the bolt lock and the door swung slightly open.

“Beeindruckend”, said the girl and put her cigarette out under her shoe. It was a combat boot like the ones the Nazi wore. I hoped it was just a fashion and not a political statement. I saw many of these idiots on our shows. They thought we were one of them with all the hate against foreign people and other cultures. But no. They're just assholes. I begged she was not one of them.

“Willkommen in meiner heilen Welt”, she welcomed me after we entered the cabin. She turned on the light, but the electricity was not the best and for a second I was afraid the lamp would not make it. It flickered for a moment and then finally the cabin was illuminated. There was an old sofa on the opposite wall with a little cupboard next to it, a small desk with a cassette recorder on top and a bunch of music posters hung on the walls. Nirvana, R.E.M., some punk bands I didn't recognize and a drawing of Iggy Pop. Not the worst taste in music, I thought.

“Du machst Musik, oder? Welche?” I nodded and told her it was rock music. Technically it was no complete lie, although some people would describe it a little different. But she was pleased with my answer.

“Dann wird dir das ja gefallen”, she said, before she walked over to a shelf with a little collection of self-made tapes. While she turned her back on me, I had the time to get my mind together. I breathed in stale air and the smell of lacquered wood. What a strange night, I thought and rubbed my eyes with the thumb and index finger of my right hand. It was fuggy in the small cabin. The girl may have had the same thought because she opened immediately the window over the desk before she put a tape in the cassette player. She pressed play and the cabin was filled with a song by Type 0 Negative. Peter Steel had a recognizable deep voice. Controversial guy, indeed, but he had something.

The girl caught me staring at the cassette recorder and smiled. But then she remembered herself to clean up the wound the fence ripped in my upper arm. So she walked back to the shelf with the tapes and opened up the little cupboard underneath. She took a black box out of it and placed it on top of the cupboard.

“Ich hab dich eher für den Klavierspieler gehalten”, she told me, after she came back with some antiseptic and a cotton pad. I raised my eyebrow on this comment. A piano player? I didn't think a big brutal looking guy like me was the perfect person to put behind a lovely piano. But maybe this was just my insecurity speaking. It stung when she put the cotton pad on the wound to clean it up. But I was used to this feeling at that point. Earlier she asked me why I had a bandaged hand. I told her, that I was drunk and accidentally stumbled into a fire pit. I was lucky that I didn't catch fire and only hurt my hand. And I was also lucky that she bought my stupid lie. It was not my intention to tell her I had an accident while building up the fire show for our concert. Too many explanations for one night. And she was kind of amused by my made up story.

She finished the cleaning of my wound and smiled satisfied at her work. At this moment the Type 0 song ended and Oasis started to play. This was a strange change of genre. I didn't expect _Wonderwall_ after _Black No. 1_. But after I read the title of the self-made tape it was clear to me which kind of music mix she put on. “Sommernachtstraum” was written on the cassette case with a black pen. Her handwriting was straight and without any twirls. Simple, I would say. It matched her appearance. Plain but not common. Like an aristocrat, who obviously liked Shakespeare.

“Ich dachte die Musik passt zur Stimmung”, she explained as she saw my confused look after Oasis started. With a shrug, she walked over to the cupboard, put back the antiseptic and pulled out a bottle of white wine. She asked if I wanted some. I nodded with a small grin after she added that we are far away from any dangerous fireplaces. We sat on the couch and shared the wine from the bottle while we talked about everything we got in mind. She even told me that she worked in a hotel on the other side of the town. I laughed at the irony, that I desperately searched for a hotel to stay and then I ended up with a stranger in an old cabin who worked at a hotel. But then the tone became more serious after I asked her why she was acquainted with this damn Nazi from earlier.

“Wir schlafen manchmal miteinander”, she explained and took a sip from the bottle. I gulped. That was not the answer I expected. But then she told me that this was her only way to feel less lonely in a town like this. Every dream you have dies before you can really think about it, she said. I understood her. She had nothing besides her work, this cabin with her tapes and some nights with the boys from the town. They're all dump but had one benefit, she joked and pointed between her legs.

“Du bist anders”, she said after some moments of silence. I looked up. She fumbled in a packet of F6 cigarettes. Her eyes didn't leave mine while she took out a fag and lit it up. Smoke surrounded her, that she blew off from her lips. There was no lipstick on them. They didn't need any. I was mesmerized by the view of her, smoking. In fact, I felt a sudden urge to kiss her. But instead, I took another sip from the wine while she put out the cigarette in an ashtray by her feed. While she bent down her shirt shifted slightly and I got a glimpse of her cleavage. Like a stupid schoolboy, I blushed and looked in another direction.

At the moment she got back up, the cassette stopped playing, and she stood up to get some tapes from the shelf. She gave them to me because it was my turn to chose one. They also had names written on the cases like “Mrs. Dolloways Wet Dream”, “Roadtrip” and “Little Lies” with some Fleetwood Mac songs. But one of them caught my attention. The really vulgar name “Fick Mich” was written on it, and the girl chuckled at my facial expression when I found this tape in the pile.

“Für besondere Stunden”, she said and took the tape out of my hand. The sensation of her fingers touching mine let my heart beat faster. I was afraid she could hear it. But then she got up and put the tape in the cassette player.

“So, wie jetzt?”, I asked while she turned around facing me while leaning herself on the edge of the tabletop. A mischievous smile came across her lips. I was agape as the Deftones song _Around the Fur_ started to play, and she just stood there lighting up another cigarette. It was clear that she had something in mind. And my desire for her rose about a tradable level.

“Gibts du mir den Wein?”, she requested. Without thinking any further I stood up and stepped to her side. My arm was long enough to reach the bottle over, but I needed to get closer to her. Just a little space between us was left, as she took the bottle from my slightly shaking hands. I obviously towered her but under her eyes, I felt smaller than ever. She took a swallow from the bottle and throw her cigarette inside of it. The remaining wine extinguished the glow with an audible hiss.

“Till?”

“Ja?”

“Was machen wir aus dieser Nacht?”

Her voice was low and just for the second of one breath, her gaze sprang to my lips and back to my eyes again. Filled with courage I carefully cupped her face with my hand and bent down to kiss her. The sensation of being kissed back by her was overwhelming. I breathed in her perfume, a sweet but light scent and I tasted wine and cigarettes from her soft lips. A weakness built up inside me. I knew that this night can't stop with a kiss. There was so many more I wanted at this moment. But suddenly I felt a pressure on my chest. The girl pressed the wine bottle against me, and I was confused and ashamed because I thought I have gone too far. But she smiled.

“Ich weiß, was du willst”, she said and the color of her blue eyes turned darker. I stepped back and waited for her to say something.

“Auf die Knie”, she commanded and without thinking twice I got on my knees. She elegantly jumped on the desk behind her and hold her right boot up. I had to take them off, she ordered and I did. I pulled on the laces slowly releasing her foot from the heavy boot, repeating this with the other one and put the shoes neatly on the floor.

“Sehr gut”, she said and slid down from the table. I felt a hard erection in my jeans while she started to open up the buttons of her shirt. She wasn't in a hurry and I appreciated it. But I also ached for her touch. It was the sweet pain you experience just the moment before someone finally put your desperate desire to a satisfying end. She didn't take off the shirt completely and I saw just a glimpse of her skin underneath. I wanted to touch her so bad and reached out for her, but she caught my hand and put it on the waistband of her jeans. She wanted me to open them up for her and I did it. Carefully I pulled the fabric down her legs and my heart stopped when I saw them fully naked beside her black knickers. I felt the urge to kiss her thigh, but she grabbed my chin and forced me to look into her eyes.

Then she slipped her index finger under the waistband of her underwear and dragged them a few inches down. I knew what she wanted from me. And I was eager to obey. In the background, the song _Lullaby_ by The Cure started to play, as I cautiously moved forward. My fingertips lightly brushed the skin of her waist before my fingers gripped her underwear and pulled them down to her ankles. She stepped out of the puddle of fabric and leaned herself against the tabletop again.

I stabled myself by pressing my palms against the edge of the table and leaned forward to kiss the thin line of hair on her pubic mound. I smelled the scent of her perfume even on this spot. With a knowing smile, I made my way down leaving tender kisses behind. Abruptly she pushed her index finger on my forehead to stop me going any further. I felt humiliated by this gesture but this emotion turned me on even more.

But her plan was not to stop me. She just changed position and climbed back on the desk. With a wink of her finger, she invited me to come closer while she spread her legs a little wider. I did as she commanded and knelt directly in front of her. She swung her legs on my shoulder and tangled them on my back. This drove me mad for her. I placed my hands on her thighs and caressed them gently. But the longing in her eyes told me that she had other things for me in mind. Without wasting any more time I leaned in and kissed her labia. The muscles in her legs tensed under the touch of my lips. I had to calm myself. This was nothing I could rush.

Slowly my movements went from kissing to licking her clitoris and the surrounding flesh. From time to time I heard a sharp sucked in breath and a moan from above. I fastened up my tongue or slowed the licking down to the rhythm of the music. Stinkfist by Tool was the best song to do so. It was really fun to fuck her with my mouth while she sat there totally relaxed enjoying every stroke of my tongue. I looked up and her eyes fixated me under half-closed lids. She wasn't close to the edge of an orgasm, but her lust built up more and more.

“Du hast Talent für sowas”, she whispered and I smiled at her compliment. Then she bent down and cupped my face with her hands. Straight away I stopped, and she slid her legs down my shoulders.

“Zieh das aus”, she breathed in my ear and tug on the collar of my shirt. I did as she ordered and pulled the shirt over my head. With a pleased expression, she inspected my muscular body. I don't disappoint her, I realized with a grin. Then she pointed at my jeans and I stood up to get rid of the rest of my clothes. While I got naked she stepped up from the table and gestured me to come nearer.

“Manche führen”, she said and laid her hands on my shoulders. But instead of dragging me to her for a kiss, she pushed me on the couch. This came totally out of the blue, and I was surprised how strong she was. Well, I also wasn't prepared.

“Manche folgen”, she added and placed herself on top of my lap in a riding position. I felt absolutely submissive under her body. And I watched her with longing eyes as she finally took off her shirt and her bra. She said she didn't trust men with this. We would make a total fuss out of this hole getting-rid-of-a-bra-thing and I chuckled at her comment. It was a fully new experience for me having sex with a confident girl like her. Others would take off the lights or didn't say a word at all because sex is serious. But she said fucking is too much fun to take it too gravely.

“Nur eine Sache ist mir wichtig”, she said and bent forward to open up the cupboard. The sofa was small enough that she could reach it. She took out a condom and gave it to me. After I pulled it over my erection she took my dick in her hands and carefully placed it at the entry of her vagina. With anticipation, I waited until she finally let me slid inside her. I loved the feeling of pushing myself into someone for the first time.

But for once it was different. It was more than a lustful release. A gasp escaped my mouth as she began to move slowly up and down on my dick. The sensation was pleasurable and I felt the need to touch her. But she grabbed my wrists and pushed them forcefully aside. Obviously, I was stronger than her, but I loved the way she put me in place. So I laid my arms on the headrest of the couch and observed every motion of her.

She placed her hands on my chest for better balance and her touch felt like I burned my flesh again. I desperately wanted to kiss her. On her lips, down her neck to her collarbone and resting my forehead on her shoulder. She noticed my thirst for her body and stopped abruptly. With a half side triumphant smile, she left me. A cold shiver runs down my spine, and I was perturbed.

But she gestured me to follow her, so I stood up. She reached her hand out for me and dragged me nearer while turning her back to me. She supported her foothold with the desk in front of her and I fucked her from behind. Now I was allowed to use my hands to hold her upper body up. I touched her breast and brushed her nipples with my fingertips. I ran my hands down her stomach and embraced her hip with my left forearm while my right hand slid down her pubic mound to stimulate her clitoris. She gasped and moaned softly until she came under my hard movements inside her.

A moment later I came myself. Both of us collapsed and panted but nobody changed position. We just stayed there, looking out of the window recognizing that the sunrise was already in full progress. With a bright grin she turned around and laid her arms around my neck. Her blue eyes shimmered charmingly. We needed no words. Just liberating laughter filled the cabin at this moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Type 0 Negative - Black No. 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFwYJYl5GUQ  
> Oasis - Wonderwall https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bx1Bh8ZvH84  
> Deftones - Around the Fur https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hv0rV0N3SrY  
> The Cure - Lullaby https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijxk-fgcg7c  
> Tool - Stinkfist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07pLGIgyfjw


	3. Love is for fools who fall behind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Part.
> 
> Because of the holidays, I had to upload this one earlier. 
> 
> In the notes at the end of this part, you find out why I wrote this whole story.

It was exhausting staying up all night.

The effect of the wine already vanished from my system, as she put the Fleetwood Mac cassette from earlier in the recorder. We sat down on the couch under a blanket, I took from the armrest and spread over our still naked bodies. She laid her legs over my lap and rested her head on my shoulder. Soft breaths tickled on my chest after she has dozed off. My view wandered to the window. I didn't want to be a creep watching her in her sleep.

Birds flew by and I heard a lawnmower in the distance. A new day began on the other side of this cabin wall with all our old problems. I hated to be reminded of this. In a short period, I had to be back in Dresden for our show. I didn't know what she was up to, but in the end, we both just escaped our lives for one night.

Suddenly I noticed some movement on my shoulder. A strand of her short hair has fallen into her face and tingled her. She wrinkled her nose and I removed the strand by placing it behind her ear. With a yawn, she was finally fully awake and looked up with a bright smile. She was still dazed and I chuckled. This was a moment to save for the darker days in life, I thought. But like all good things it has to be over. Sooner than I hoped. After she was awake, we put our clothes back on and tidied up the hints that we were here this night. I was afraid her grandparents can be shaken over the broken bolt lock, but she ensured me that she would come back later to repair it.

We walked to the town square, mostly in silence. But she looked happy and this was all that counted for me. She didn't seem to regret the night. However, I had a strange feeling in my guts. This feeling radiated slowly through my body and as we reached the phone booth, from which I called Richard last night, an iron fist clenched my heart together.

“Hier sind wir”, she said and blinked in the brightness of the sunlight. I looked away from her to no particular point. I just avoided her eyes. She knew it and pulled on my shirt, so I had to face her. Her facial expression asked a question I couldn't answer. But the smirk on her lips assured that I was not obliged to say anything.

“Ich hoffe wir sehen uns vielleicht mal wieder, Till.” This was a farewell forever, I knew it. It didn't sound like one, but that was just what it was. Two strangers whose lives collided for only one night. Nothing more and the tragic left me heartbroken. She got on her tiptoes and gave me a kiss goodbye on my stubbly cheek. Her lips left a tingling sensation on my skin. We hugged one last time before we separated.

I looked after her while she walked away. The fist around my heart got tighter and I ran my hands through my hair. I had to leave. There was no point in staying any longer. So I put myself together and walked back to the black BMW, I parked not far away the night before. I left the town in no time because the streets were empty. It was nearly nine in the morning, but on a weekend nobody wants to get up early.

But the silence was too much noise for me and I had to turn on the radio. At the red traffic light, I searched for a station without many prattling. I found a local one with some chart music. Not the best, but good enough for an almost one hour drive. The landscape flew by but I didn't notice it. I was busy concentrating on the street without thinking about last night. It was surreal. Everything was surreal and nausea built up in my stomach. It got so bad that I had to stop the car by a little forest. I parked the car on a small forest path and got out. I sucked in the fresh air like I was about to suffocate.

The radio still played in the background. The moderator announced the following song with his annoyingly happy manner. I spit on the dirt path and listened closely to the song. It was this fucking cheesy Goo Goo Dolls song, that was played all over because of this shitty Nicolas Cage movie. I laughed but the laughing changed quickly to desperation and anger. Out of control, I punched my fist on the roof of the car, leaving a little dent.

“Scheiße”, I cursed and touched the dent with my fingertips. But the damage was done and I had to go back. Later was enough time to make up some excuse for my tour manager why his car got hit on the roof. And I had to keep it together from now on because my hand has seen enough injuries these days. Without another incident, I drove back to the hotel in Dresden, showered and made it just in time for the soundcheck. I can't remember anything about this night and the ones that followed. I also never told anybody what happened on this special Friday night and the girl I met in the small town. It was a secret I kept for myself. And it was no hard secret to keep, I thought.

But a few weeks later something impossible happened. The band had a signing session in Berlin at the end of August. I was really nervous because I hated these kind of events. To many people watching us like we were some zoo animals. Richard was totally pleased with this attention. I just rolled my eyes every time a fan showed up adoring my bandmate like a young god. Avoiding witnessing his behavior, I let my view wander over the other people waiting in line to meet us. This can't be a fun situation for all of them, staying there for hours and waiting for a picture with a grumpy Till.

But all of a sudden I saw a familiar face in the crowd and I went pale. It took some time until she was finally able to get to us but it wasn't enough time to get over the fact that this one particular girl from my midsummer adventure stood in line for our signing session. But she wasn't interested in hugging and an autograph. She made a beeline to me and greeted me with a cheeky smile. I just sat there unable to say anything and Richard gave me a confused look. With widened eyes, I shook my head and her smile brightened.

“Überarschung gelungen? War nicht schwer herauszufinden, wer du bist, Till”, she said and with these words, she placed a small brown envelope in front of me. And this was it. She walked backward saying goodbye with a little wave of her hand and a half side smile on her lips. It took me really long to proceed with the strangeness of this situation. I put my hand on the envelope, which was large incomprehension to this piece of paper. Inside was a hard object and just by feeling it I knew what it was. At this point the signing session stretched out to eternity, I thought with anticipation.

After the event I had some time off before our show on this night started and I rushed back to my flat. The door just shut behind me but I had already opened up the envelope. I found a note and a tape in it.

“Du bist mir in Erinnerung geblieben. Ich hoffe, ich auch in deiner. Alles Liebe!” She didn't tell me her name, I realized with an outbreak of laughter. She never told me her name. Not at the night, we met or even in these short sentences. What a strange girl, I thought and opened up the tape to read the playlist. But she didn't write one inside. The only words in her neat handwriting were: “Love is for the fools who fall behind.”

I was curious about the music she recorded for me, so I searched for my very old Walkman. I put on headphones and laid back on my bed facing the ceiling. With a little crack, the first song started. I never heard of. But it was about a really wracked love story. Maybe like my own one with the nameless girl. I smirked, closed my I eyes and heard this song over and over.

Now years later I think back from time to time. Because I saw her in the face of a stranger, or I hear a song that reminds me of this night. The details faded a long time ago. But some people stay in your mind after many years. They're becoming your shadow, your calm place or the protagonist in every made-up conversation in your head. She stayed in my mind and I hope I am still a part of her memory, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is dedicated to the girl I fell in love with last summer. She couldn't give me the love I needed, so she ran away. I hope she will see me somehow.
> 
> "And I don't want the world to see me  
> 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
> When everything's made to be broken  
> I just want you to know who I am"  
> Fleetwood Mac - "Little Lies" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCGD9dT12C0  
> Goo Goo Dolls - "Iris" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdYWuo9OFAw  
> Fuel - Shimmer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZwSqX6J5hs

**Author's Note:**

> So, I hope you enjoyed the first part and you're coming back for the second one. Here are the links for the music I mentioned and some links to articles about "Grauzonenbands" like Die Böhsen Onkelz and an article about Nazi-Bands like "Macht und Ehre". These links are not for advertisement, because I really, really, really hate Nazis, so these ones are just for education. 
> 
> Jennifer Paige - Crush: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIhSnaqou0I  
> Bell Book and Candle - Rescue Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDcJXNkYtN8  
> Fuel - Shimmer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZwSqX6J5hs
> 
> A list of "Rechtsrock" and "Grauzonen" bands: https://www.belltower.news/liste-rechtsextremer-bands-und-liedermacher-50842/
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_power_music  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B%C3%B6hse_Onkelz


End file.
